Tag Archives: Emotional Well-being

REWIRING YOUR SUCCESS

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BOOK TITLE : REWIRING YOUR SUCCESS:  |  AUTHOR : JOHN QURESHI
Success is not a matter of luck.
Successful people are not just lucky; they make their luck by taking action and persevering through setbacks.
Success is a journey, not a destination.
There is no one-size-fits-all formula for success. What works for one person may only work for one person. The important thing is to find your path to success and to be willing to make the necessary sacrifices along the way.
Success is not about money.
Money is important, but it is not the only measure of success. Successful people also find fulfillment in their work and make a positive impact on the world.
Success is a habit.
Successful people have developed habits that help them achieve their goals. These habits include setting goals, taking action, and never giving up.
Success is a choice.
You choose to be successful or not. It is not something that happens to you; it is something you create.
Success is a mindset.
Successful people have a positive mindset that allows them to see possibilities instead of obstacles.
Success is about personal growth.
Successful people are constantly learning and growing. They are unafraid to step outside their comfort zones and try new things.
Success is about giving back.
Successful people use their success to help others. They know they are not alone and feel responsible for giving back to the community.
Success is about leaving a legacy.
Successful people want to make a difference and be remembered for their positive contributions.
Success is possible for everyone.
You can achieve your dreams no matter where you come from or your circumstances. It takes hard work, dedication, and perseverance, but you can reach your full potential.

10 Lessons from The 80/20 Principle: The Secret to Success by Achieving More with Less
  1. Identify the critical 20% of activities or efforts that yield 80% of the desired outcomes and prioritize them over less important tasks.
  2. Work smarter, not harder. Focus on maximizing efficiency in the tasks that deliver the most significant results rather than trying to do everything.
  3. Streamline processes and eliminate unnecessary complexity to increase effectiveness and productivity.
  4. Develop a strategic mindset by focusing on high-leverage activities that align with long-term goals and objectives.
  5. Recognize that not all decisions are equally important. Focus your time and energy on decisions that have the most significant impact on your goals and outcomes.
  6. Identify and leverage resources, talents, and opportunities that contribute the most to your success.
  7. Embrace a continuous improvement mindset by regularly evaluating and refining your strategies and processes.
  8. Remain flexible and adaptable in the face of changing circumstances. Be willing to adjust your approach as needed to stay aligned with your objectives.
  9. Recognize and mitigate potential risks that could derail your progress toward your goals.
  10. Seek balance and harmony in your life by focusing on what truly matters and letting go of unnecessary distractions or obligations.

Most important thing you’ll read this Year

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Possibly the Most important thing you’ll read this Year…

The following is the philosophy of Charles Schulz, the creator of the ‘Peanuts’ comic strip.

You don’t have to actually answer the questions. Just ponder on them. Just read it straight through, and you’ll get the point.

1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.
2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.
3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America pageant.
4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.
5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.
6. Name the last decade’s worth of World Series winners.

How did you do?

The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday. These are no second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields.
But the applause dies.
Awards tarnish.
Achievements are forgotten.
Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.

Here’s another quiz. See how you do on this one:

1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.
2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.
3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.
4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.
5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.

Easier?

The lesson:

The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money … or the most awards. They simply are the ones who care the most.

Source: Weird and Amazing Stuff

Mermaid or Whale?

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Recently, in a large city in France, a poster featuring a young, thin, and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym.It read: “This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?”

A middle-aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman pictured on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym. She had a whale of a lot to say:

“To Whom It May Concern,

Whales are always surrounded by friends: dolphins, sea lions, and curious humans. They have an active sex life, get pregnant, and have adorable baby whales. They enjoy stuffing themselves with shrimp, playing and swimming in the sea, and visiting wonderful places like Patagonia, the Bering Sea, and the coral reefs of Polynesia.

Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs. ?They are incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than humans.They are loved, protected, and admired by almost everyone in the world.

Mermaids don’t exist.If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of psychoanalysts due to their identity crisis. Fish or human would prove quite a quandary for even the most skilled of therapists.

They don’t have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them, not to mention how could they have sex? Just look at them … where is IT? Therefore, they don’t have kids either. Not to mention, who wants to get close to a girl who smells like a fish store?

P.S. We are in an age when the media attempts to convince us that only skinny people are beautiful. I prefer to enjoy ice cream with my kids, a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver, and good chocolate with my friends. With time, we gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room, it distributes out to the rest of our bodies. So we aren’t heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated, and happy.”
—-Copied from Brian Horne page—-

Practicing Mindfulness

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“Our life is shaped by our mind, for we become what we think.” ~ Buddha

Practicing mindfulness (being aware of the present moment without judgement) can allow you to harness the energy of your thoughts and shape the trajectory of your life’s journey.

Practicing mindfulness involves breathing methods, guided imagery, and other practices to relax the body and mind and help reduce stress.

Practicing mindfulness exercises can help you direct your attention away from negative thinking and engage with the world around you.

There are many ways to practice mindfulness. Mayo Clinic has outlined how you can be mindful in your daily life.

Start Small

Starting small means taking 5 minutes or so out of your day and dedicating it to yourself. These 5 minutes can bring a new perspective, positivity and calmness to whatever stress is weighing down on you. Take the time to focus on your senses, breathing, body and environment.

Accept Yourself and Be Open to Change

The Mayo Clinic suggests treating yourself as you would treat a friend. In avoiding self-criticism and negative self-talk, you’re demonstrating mindfulness by practicing to regulate damaging thought patterns.

It’s easy to be very critical and judgmental throughout the day, even unintentionally. Being open to trying new things and thinking a different way can open the door for a new way of life. Change can lead to progress, even some changes that are frightening at first.

Fit Mindfulness Into Your Lifestyle

It only takes a few minutes per day to decrease your stress levels through mindfulness. Find these moments in your day. They might be transitional periods, like right after work, between tasks or after meals. You can also dedicate a space in your home to mindfulness by setting up a quiet and comfortable area to practice connecting with yourself.

Mindfulness can be practiced wherever and whenever, but The Mayo Clinic notes engaging your senses outdoors is especially beneficial. You might go for a walk as an opportunity to increase your mindfulness, or even just take advantage of the moments in your day when you find yourself outdoors, like checking the mail or walking to your car.

References:

  1. https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/consumer-health/in-depth/mindfulness-exercises/art-20046356
  2. https://www.snhu.edu/about-us/newsroom/education/how-to-practice-mindfulness

Happiness and the Meaning of Life

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According to Frank Martela, a Finnish philosopher and psychology researcher, finding meaning in life boils down to five words: “Make yourself meaningful to others”.

You can do this by opening yourself up to deep connections with others, your community and your passions.

1. Live for yourself, not someone else’s expectations.

It can be hard to live with purpose if you’re going through the motions, burned out, or filled with resentment because you’re on a path that someone else picked for you. Even a meaningful job like being a doctor can feel empty if your heart isn’t in it.

Before you can give to someone else, you have to understand what makes you happy, and start doing more of it.

2. Become an expert and share your knowledge.

One of the best ways to serve others is to find something that meets three requirements:

  • You’re good at it.
  • It excites you.
  • It has a positive impact on others.

Once you’ve found a job or a hobby that makes you feel fulfilled, put all your focus into becoming an expert in it. Then share it with your community.

3. Practice random acts of kindness.

You should strive to do three random acts of kindness a day. It can be as simple as offering a glass of water to the mailman, spending an afternoon with a grandparent, or helping a tourist find their way.

By doing three random acts of kindness daily, you might develop unexpected deep bonds with others as a result. Here’s how:

Helping people doesn’t just feel good in the moment; it benefits your long-term health, too. Studies show that people who give emotional support to their family, friends and neighbors are more likely to live longer.

4. Be a good neighbor.

“Working together to do something that one would not be able to do alone.” This philosophy can be essential for the good of the whole.

5. Embrace quiet time together.

People don’t need to make grand gestures to be an important part of your life. Being together in silence is enough to make individuals feel connected and loved. Sitting silently with someone can be moments of deep meaning and connection.

6. Practice mindfulness.

Being intentional with your thoughts and actions, you can begin to reduce your stress and increase your happiness through consciously focusing on your state of mind.

Mindfulness is focused around being present in any moment, at any time. It’s the human ability to be aware of where you are and what you’re doing  A key to mindfulness is recognizing emotions or situations without any positive or negative judgment. When you observe rather than judge, you can be more purposeful in what you say and how you say it.

Mindfulness has been proven to be an effective tool for reducing stress and anxiety. If you’re one of the 40 million U.S. adults who suffer from anxiety per year, the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA) promotes mindfulness as a technique for growth, self-discovery and success.

References:

  1. Frank Martela, I’m a psychology expert in Finland, the No. 1 happiest country in the world—here’s the real meaning of life in 5 words, CNBC Make It, June 9 2023. https://www.cnbc.com/2023/06/09/psychology-expert-from-finland-the-worlds-happiest-country-shares-the-meaning-of-life-in-5-words.html
  2. Joanne Coffey, How to Practice Mindfulness, Southern New Hampshire University, October 18, 2022.  https://www.snhu.edu/about-us/newsroom/education/how-to-practice-mindfulness

Mindfulness Exercises

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The goal of mindfulness is to wake up to the inner workings of our mental, emotional, and physical processes. ~ Mindful.org

Mindfulness is a type of meditation in which you focus on being intensely aware of what you’re sensing and feeling in the moment, without interpretation or judgment. It is the basic human ability to be fully present, aware of where we are and what we’re doing, and not overly reactive or overwhelmed by what’s going on around us.

The goal of mindfulness is to wake up to the inner workings of our mental, emotional, and physical processes. Mindfulness is available to us in every moment, whether through meditations and body scans, or mindful moment practices like taking time to pause and breathe when the phone rings instead of rushing to answer it.

Simple mindfulness exercises can be practiced anywhere and anytime, according to the Mayo Clinic. Research does indicate that engaging your senses while outdoors is especially beneficial.

You’ll need to set aside time when you can be in a quiet place without distractions or interruptions. You might choose to practice mindfulness early in the morning before you begin your daily routine.

Aim to practice mindfulness every day for about six months. Over time, you might find that mindfulness becomes effortless. Think of it as a commitment to reconnecting with and nurturing yourself.

There are many simple ways to practice mindfulness. Some examples include:

  • Pay attention. It’s hard to slow down and notice things in a busy world. Try to take the time to experience your environment with all of your senses — touch, sound, sight, smell and taste. For example, when you eat a favorite food, take the time to smell, taste and truly enjoy it.
  • Live in the moment. Try to intentionally bring an open, accepting and discerning attention to everything you do. Find joy in simple pleasures.
  • Accept yourself. Treat yourself the way you would treat a good friend.
  • Focus on your breathing. When you have negative thoughts, try to sit down, take a deep breath and close your eyes. Focus on your breath as it moves in and out of your body. Sitting and breathing for even just a minute can help.

References:

  1. https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/consumer-health/in-depth/mindfulness-exercises/art-20046356
  2. https://www.mindful.org/meditation/mindfulness-getting-started/

Top Five Regrets of the Dying

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Bronnie Ware, an Australian palliative care nurse, recorded patients’ dying epiphanies and put her observations into a book called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.

Ware wrote of the phenomenal clarity of vision that people gain at the end of their lives, and how you might learn from her patients’ wisdom. “When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently,” she says, “common themes surfaced again and again.”

Here are the top five regrets of the dying, as witnessed by Bonnie Ware:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

“This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it.”

2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

“This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.”

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

“Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.”

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

“Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.”

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

“This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.”

References:

  1. Susie Steiner, Top five regrets of the dying, The Guardian, February 1, 2012.  https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2012/feb/01/top-five-regrets-of-the-dying

May 2023 — Mental Health Awareness Month

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No matter what my depression tells me, I am worthy of love, I am worthy of acceptance, I am worthy of fulfillment. I Am #MoreThanEnough. 

We are not born feeling inadequate. Life experiences and emotions create that sense within us in a variety of ways. For example, when we were little, and we felt afraid or anxious, our mind told us something was wrong with us, not our environment. A child’s mind, not yet rational, concludes, “There must be something wrong with me if I feel so bad.” That’s why children who were abused or neglected grow up to be adults who carry so much shame. They likely spent years telling themselves: “I must be bad if I’m being treated badly.”

As adults, armed with education on emotions and how childhood adversity affects the brain, we can understand that feeling “not enough” is a byproduct of an environment that was insufficient. We are in fact enough! Yet to feel more solid, we must work to transform that “not enough” feeling.

More Than Enough Mental Health Awareness Month 2023

What Can We Do to Help the Parts of Us That Feel “Not Enough?”

  • We can remind ourselves again and again that our feelings of “not enough” were learned. It’s not an objective fact, even when it feels so instinctually true.
  • We can connect to the part of us that feels bad and offer it compassion, like we would for our child, partner, colleague, friend or pet.
  • We can practice deep belly breathing, five or six times in a row, to calm our nervous system.
  • We can exercise to get adrenaline flowing and create a sense of empowerment.
  • We can remember this very helpful phrase: “Compare and Despair!” When you catch yourself making comparisons to others, STOP! It only hurts, by fueling feelings and thoughts of “not enough.” 

In the long run, we heal the parts of us that feel inadequate by first becoming aware of them. Once aware, we can listen to them and try to fully understand the story of how they came to believe they were “not enough.” Over time, by naming, validating and processing the associated emotions both from the past and present, “not enough” can become enough.

Source: https://www.nami.org/Blogs/NAMI-Blog/June-2018/Why-Do-We-Have-the-Feeling-that-We-Are-Not-Enough

One of the most beneficial things individuals can do to improve their mental health is to stay active and engage in frequent exercise. Exercise can increase the brain’s levels of dopamine, serotonin, and norepinephrine, which can lead to reduced stress levels, happier moods, increased cognitive function, and higher self-esteem.

Gratitude Is An “Affirmation of Goodness”

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“Gratitude is “an affirmation of goodness”. When you practice gratitude, you acknowledge the good things in the world and the gifts you’ve received in your life.” ~ Robert Emmons

Gratitude is more than just a overused feel-good buzzword. In fact, gratitude is a surprisingly powerful force. It’s an attitude and practice shown to improve your mental, physical, and emotional health.

Gratitude is often defined as the expression of a deep appreciation for something or someone that is given freely without expecting anything in return.

Showing appreciation and gratitude for the things and people in your lives can help you adapt to change, cope with difficulties, increase your business success, regulate your emotions and improve your mental and physical well-being.

According to Robert Emmons, psychology professor and one of the leading scientific experts on gratitude at the University of California, Davis, gratitude is “an affirmation of goodness”. When you practice gratitude, you acknowledge the good things in the world and the gifts you’ve received in your life.

“This doesn’t mean that life is perfect,” Emmons says, “it doesn’t ignore complaints, burdens, and hassles. But when we look at life as a whole, gratitude encourages us to identify some amount of goodness in our life.”

And identifying this goodness has a big impact on our brains, bodies and well-being. Studies show that people who practice gratitude experience more positive emotions, improve their physical health, build stronger relationships, and better deal with adversity.

The Effects of Practicing Gratitude

1 | Gratitude Boosts Positive Emotions

Gratitude can help you experience more positive emotions. When we practice appreciation for the people, things, or experiences around us, we become more present and engaged with life and the joys and pleasures it has to offer. Gratitude interrupts the mental cycle of negativity bias helping to decrease anxiety and depression and shift your mindset towards more ease. With consistent practice, this positive mindset becomes a new habit, helping you experience more of the “good stuff”.

2 | Gratitude is Good For Your Body

Gratitude can improve not only your mental health but your physical health as well. Studies have shown the practicing gratitude can lead to lower blood pressure, stronger immune systems, and better sleep. People that practice gratitude are also reported to experience less aches and pains and seem to take better care of themselves with more regular exercise and check-ups at the doctor.

3 | Gratitude Improves Relationships (not just romantic ones)

Research shows that practicing gratitude can make our romantic relationships more satisfying, help us feel more invested in our friendships, and lead us to be more helpful coworkers. Beyond just feeling more positive about one another, gratitude helps us feel more comfortable expressing concerns about the relationship and motivates us to work harder and show up more fully in our relationships and jobs.

4 | Gratitude Makes Us More Resilient

Grateful people are more resilient when stressed. Studies show that a grateful disposition can help a person recover more quickly in the face of serious adversity and suffering. Given the physical, emotional and relational benefits described above, it doesn’t come as a surprise that people who practice gratitude feel more able to deal with the challenges they face. Staying connected to the resources in and around us helps guard against the anxiety of life’s stressors.

How to Actually Feel Grateful (and shift towards a gratitude mindset)

Whether you are a naturally grateful person or you find yourself more on the pessimistic side, a gratitude mindset is a skill we can all develop. The benefits of gratitude build up over time, so finding small and easy practices that you can commit to each day is the best way to feel the effects in your life. 

Start actively tuning into the positive events in your life and anything that make you feel good. Try one (or more!) of these tips today:

  1. Get into a habit of writing down three things you’re grateful for daily.
  2. Text/tell a loved one why you appreciate them. Bonus: It’ll probably make their day too.
  3. As you fall asleep or in quiet moments, make a mental gratitude list starting with each letter of the alphabet.
  4. Start a daily gratitude journal.
  5. Visualize something you love (a person, place, pet or object) and let your imagination bring it to life. Let yourself fill up with warmth. 

Bottomline, Gratitude Is An “Affirmation of Goodness”

References:

  1. https://www.calm.com/blog/why-gratitude-is-good-for-your-mental-healthhttps://www.calm.com/blog/why-gratitude-is-good-for-your-mental-health
  2. https://www.mindful.org/an-introduction-to-mindful-gratitude/

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