Tag Archives: Attitude

Negativity Bias

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The human brain is wired to give more weight to negative information than to positive or neutral information. It is wired to focus on what’s wrong in your life and environment.

Negativity bias is thought to have evolved as a survival mechanism of the human brain. Historically, recognizing and reacting to negative or threatening stimuli was crucial for survival, as these could indicate potential dangers such as predators. It allowed humans to survive the challenges and risks of living in the wild amongst predators.

This evolutionary background has led to a predisposition for humans to focus on negative information, which persists even in modern environments where such immediate threats are less common.

An example of negativity bias is: You are hiking with friends. While enjoying the scenery, you suddenly see a rattlesnake. The snake immediately slithers away. However, when asked about the hike later, you remember the snake incident more vividly than the beautiful scenery.

Being aware of negativity bias and actively seeking positive information can help balance the disproportionate focus on negative events.

Negativity bias causes you to dwell on the negative, making bad experiences seem much more important than they really are. This, in turn, can impact your decision-making and the opinions you form about others.

Negativity bias is a cognitive bias where negative experiences have a greater impact than positive ones. While negativity bias is pervasive, it can be mitigated through mindfulness, gratitude and focusing on positive experiences.

References:

  1. Kassiani Nikolopoulou, What Is Negativity Bias, Scribbr.com, February 2, 2023. https://www.scribbr.com/research-bias/negativity-bias/

 

Parable: “200 Year Old Watch”

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A dying father called his son to his bedside and presented him with an old pocket watch. The father said,

“Your grandfather gave this watch to me. It is more than 200 years old. But, before I give it to you, I want you to go to the watch shop and tell the owner you want to sell it. Ask him what price he would pay for it.”

The son went to the watch shop and then returned to his father’s bedside. He reported, “The watchmaker said he would pay $5 for the watch because it is old and scratched.”

The father then said to the son, “Go to the coffee shop and ask the owner if he would be interested in buying the pocket watch and what he would be willing to pay.”

The son ran to the coffee shop and quickly returned. He told his father, “The coffee shop owner said he didn’t have much use for an old pocket watch but offered $3 for it.”

Finally, the father told the son, “Go to the museum and show them the watch.”

The son left for the museum and returned with a look of astonishment on his face. He whispered, “Father, the curator at the museum offered me $10 million for this pocket watch!”

The father laid his head back, closed his eyes and said: “I wanted you to experience for yourself that the right place, and the right people, will value your value in the right way.

Never put yourself in the wrong place, with the wrong people, and then get angry when you don’t feel valued. Don’t stay in a place, or with people, that don’t value your value. Know your worth and while being confident in your own value look for the value and the potential worth of others.”

The lesson of this parable is that you must value your own value. Along with recognizing your value you must also avoid putting yourself in the wrong place, with the wrong people, who don’t or who are unable to value your value.

https://www.deseret.com/opinion/2019/12/11/21012123/what-an-old-pocket-watch-says-about-your-unique-worth-and-leadership/

Taking Risks

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“Do the one thing you think you cannot do. Fail at it. Try again. Do better the second time. The only people who never tumble are those who never mount the high wire. This is your moment. Own it.” — Oprah Winfrey

The greatness you desire, the success you dream about, is on the other side of your doubts and fears, explains media mogul Oprah Winfrey. You must confront and manage your self-doubts and unrealistic fears if you ever expect to live a life of purpose and meaning. You must believe in yourself, be courageous in your actions, and be grateful for your current life.

You don’t find life’s purpose and meaning, you create them!

The kind of life you were created to live, a life of purpose and meaning, will require you to leave your comfort zone and take risks. Staying within your comfort zone and avoiding risks may seem safe, but they can also lead to missed opportunities for growth, learning, and progress.

Every decision involves an opportunity cost—the value of what you could have gained by choosing an alternative path. Taking risks involves making decisions or engaging in actions where the outcome is uncertain but there is a potential benefit or reward.

Not taking risks is a risk in itself. Many people are not living their dreams because they are living their fears.

Fear of failure often prevents people from taking risks. However, failure itself is a valuable teacher. You will never amount to anything if you let your doubts and fears hinder you from trying things.

Embracing failure as a stepping stone toward growth and learning is essential.

“I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life, and that is why I succeed.” — Michael Jordan

Your pursuit of security is what’s hindering you from reaching greatness. You can’t be safe and still be great because greatness will require you to take risks and try things you’ve never done before. But it’s in taking risks that you find security because proper security is having no fear of trying.

Nothing great is built in your comfort zone. Life is all about taking risks. It’s a daring adventure or nothing at all.

What’s stopping you? In the face of death, life’s fears hold no meaning. So live while you are still alive.

Go out, try things, do what scares you, let go of your doubts and fears, and embrace the uncertainties. What’s life if we aim for less because we fear more?

Take the risk; it’s a part of life, not part of it. Never take the risk of missing the chance to live.

People tend to regret missed opportunities more than failed attempts.

“Winners are not afraid of losing. But losers are. Failure is part of the process of success. People who avoid failure also avoid success.” — Robert Kiyosaki

Measure Your Life

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7 Powerful Lessons from “How Will You Measure Your Life?”

1. Define your “yardsticks”: Instead of chasing external metrics like wealth or fame, the book encourages identifying your values and defining metrics that reflect your true priorities. These “yardsticks” become the foundation for measuring your life’s progress and satisfaction.

2. Invest in relationships: The book emphasizes the importance of nurturing strong, meaningful relationships with family, friends, and loved ones. These relationships are the source of true happiness and fulfillment, and investing time and effort in them is crucial for a successful life.

3. Focus on the “becoming” over the “doing”: The book challenges the conventional focus on achievements and results. Instead, it encourages prioritizing growth and learning, the journey of becoming a better person. Continuous improvement and self-development are critical to a fulfilling life.

4. Manage your time like a CEO: Time is your most valuable resource. The book teaches you to manage it effectively, prioritize tasks that align with your values, and avoid distractions that hinder your progress toward your goals.

5. Say no to protect your “yes”: The book emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries and saying “no” to commitments that don’t align with your values or priorities. Setting boundaries allows you to focus your energy on the things that truly matter and maximize the impact of your “yeses.”

6. Embrace the power of “deep love”: The book differentiates between “shallow love” based on external factors and “deep love” rooted in shared values and commitment. Deep love provides a strong foundation for lasting relationships and contributes significantly to a fulfilling life.

7. Remember, it’s never too late to change: The book offers hope and encouragement to individuals at any stage of their lives. It emphasizes that it’s never too late to re-evaluate your priorities, adjust your course, and start living a life that reflects your values and aspirations.

BOOK: https://amzn.to/48DCGPl

Source:

Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less by Greg McKeown

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Essentialism is a disciplined way of thinking and acting that allows you to discern the vital few from the trivial many. It’s about learning to do less but better so that you can make the highest possible contribution.

Say no to the good so you can say yes to the great.

It’s only possible to do some things, so being selective about what you say yes to is important. Focus on the essential things that will have the biggest impact. Take a close look at your life and identify the things that are not essential. Once you know what they are, eliminate them from your life so that you can focus on the things that are truly important.

It’s okay to say no to requests, even if they come from people you care about. If something is not essential, don’t be afraid to say no so that you can focus on the things that are.

Protect your time since it is your most valuable resource, so please keep it carefully. Don’t let other people steal your time or pressure you into doing things that are not essential.

And it would be best if you took care of yourself. Ensure you get enough sleep, eat healthy foods, maintain close relationships, and exercise regularly. When you take care of yourself, you’re better able to focus on the things that are essential.

Essentialism is a powerful way to live a more meaningful and fulfilling life. It can help you learn to focus on the truly essential things and make the biggest impact.

Green Grass

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The phrase “Is the grass greener on the other side?” is a common way of asking if something that seems better or more desirable than one has is so. It is based on the proverb, “The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence”, which means that people tend to be dissatisfied with their situation and always think that others have it better, even if they don’t. The proverb has been traced back to ancient times, but it became popular in English after a song by Raymond B. Egan and Richard A. Whiting in 1924.

The phrase can be used in different contexts, such as relationships, careers, lifestyles, etc. For example, someone unhappy with their marriage might wonder if the grass is greener on the other side, meaning if they would be happier with someone else. Or someone bored with their job might think the grass is greener on the other side, meaning they would enjoy a different career more. However, the phrase also implies that the grass is not greener and that changing one’s situation might not bring the expected happiness or satisfaction. It is a way of reminding people to appreciate what they have and not to idealize what they don’t have. A counter-phrase that expresses this idea is “the grass is greener where you water it, ” meaning that good situations come from the effort and attention you put into them, not from dreaming about them.

Keep Your Personal Power

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“Energy is the essence of life. Daily, you decide how to use it by knowing what you want and what it takes to reach that goal and by maintaining focus.” ~ Oprah Gail Winfrey

Mentally strong people have healthy habits and mindsets. They manage their emotions, thoughts, and behaviors in ways that help them keep their power and set them up for success in life, according to Amy Morin, psychotherapist and author of 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do.

Here are nine ways to keep your power.

1. Don’t waste energy complaining.

There’s a big difference between complaining and problem-solving. Venting to your friends, family, and co-workers keeps you focused on the problem and prevents you from creating a solution. Grumbling not only implies you have no power over your situation but also shows you lack power over your attitude.

2. Accept responsibility for how you feel.

Saying your mother-in-law makes you feel bad about yourself, or claiming your boss makes you mad suggests they have power over your feelings. Don’t let other people’s behavior dictate your emotions. Accept that it’s completely up to you to manage your emotions, regardless of how others behave.

3. Establish healthy boundaries.

Giving in to guilt trips and refusing to speak up for yourself gives power to others. Recognize that you’re in charge of yourself rather than blame others for wasting your time or forcing you to do something. Establish healthy physical and emotional boundaries that give you control over how you spend your time and whom you spend it with.

4. Practice forgiveness.

Holding a grudge against someone who has hurt you doesn’t punish the other person. Instead, it only punishes you. When you waste valuable time thinking about a person you feel wronged you, it takes away your ability to enjoy the moment.

Forgiving someone is the best way to take back your power. But to be clear, forgiveness isn’t about saying what the person did was OK. Instead, it’s about letting go of the hurt and anger that interferes with your ability to enjoy life.

5. Know your values.

When you’re not clear what your values are, you’re at risk of becoming more like a helpless passenger rather than a confident driver in your own life. You’ll be at risk of jumping on board with other people’s ideas, and you may be easily led astray. Take back your power by acknowledging your values and living true to what’s important.

6. Don’t waste time on unproductive thoughts.

Have you ever come home from work and spent the entire evening wishing you didn’t have to go back again tomorrow? Suddenly, you’re giving your eight-hour workday 12 hours of your time. Take control over the thoughts that occupy your mind so you don’t provide more brain power to areas of your life that don’t deserve it.

7. Avoid language that implies you’re a victim.

Saying things like “I have to work 60 hours a week” or “I had no choice but to say yes” infers you’re a victim of unfortunate circumstances. While there will certainly be consequences for your decisions, acknowledge that you always have choices.

8. Make your self-worth independent of other’s opinions.

If your self-worth depends on others holding you in high regard, you’ll likely become a people-pleaser. Not everyone needs to like you, nor must they agree with your lifestyle. You can evaluate the merit of criticism you receive but never allow one person’s opinion to determine your self-worth.

9. Be willing to stand out from the crowd.

Self-doubt and fear can make you want to blend in with those around you. But trying to fit in with the crowd will cause you to disguise yourself as who you are. Trust that you’re mentally strong enough to stand out and dare to be different.

“The greatest discovery of all time is that a person can change his future by merely changing his attitude,” says Oprah Gail Winfrey.

References:

  1. https://www.inc.com/amy-morin/9-ways-mentally-strong-people-retain-their-personal-power.html
  2. https://amymorinlcsw.com/about-amy/

The Story of Oprah Winfrey

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“Create the highest, grandest vision possible for your life, because you become what you believe.” ~ Oprah Winfrey

Oprah Gail Winfrey’s career has been almost impossibly successful. Oprah’s net worth of $2.6 billion also makes her the first African American female billionaire.

Defying the odds is nothing new to Oprah, who has been battling against adversity her whole life. Oprah Gail Winfrey was born on January 29, 1954, in Kosciusko, Mississippi, to Vernita Lee and Vernon Winfrey.

Oprah Winfrey grew up in extreme poverty and was sexually abused by several people throughout her childhood. She bounced between living with her mother, father, and grandmother, and as a teenager, she frequently ran away from home. She became pregnant at age fourteen, but the infant died shortly after birth.

During her high school years, she began working at a local radio station. She worked her way through several media jobs, and eventually, she landed a job as a TV news anchor. But she was later fired from the position.

She didn’t allow one person’s opinion of her on-air suitability to stop her, however. She went on to create her own talk show and by the age of thirty-two, her show became a national hit. By the age of forty-one, she had a reported net worth of over $340 million.

Oprah has started her own magazine, radio show, and TV network and has coauthored five books. She’s even won an Academy Award. She’s started a multitude of charities to help people in need, including a leadership academy for girls in South Africa.

Oprah didn’t let her childhood or her former employer take away her power. A woman who was once teased because she was so poor, she wore potato sacks as dresses was named one of the world’s most powerful women by both CNN and Time. Statistically, her upbringing would have predicted a poor prognosis. But Oprah refused to be a statistic. She chose to define who she was going to be in life by not giving away her power.

Oprah’s story shows how important education, faith, and hard work are. She is a true believer that working towards your goals will take all your effort, but it will be worth it.

“Whatever someone did to you in the past has no power over the present. Only you give it power.” ~ Oprah Winfrey

References:

  1. https://www.thelist.com/346339/the-tragic-story-of-oprahs-childhood/
  2. https://stmuscholars.org/from-rags-to-riches-the-story-of-oprah-winfrey/
  3. https://www.thelist.com/346339/the-tragic-story-of-oprahs-childhood/

Dog Sitting on a Nail Story

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There is a story of an old man and his dog sitting on the porch. It’s hot outside. The old man is sipping on his lemonade and the dog is sitting next to him moaning in pain.

The neighbor across the street hears the dog moaning for several minutes, and his curiosity gets the best of him, so he approaches the old man.

He asks the old man, “why is your dog moaning?” The old man responds by saying: “the dog is sitting on a nail.”

Perplexed, the neighbor asks, “why doesn’t the dog just get up and move to another spot on the porch?”

The old man takes another sip of lemonade, smiles, thinks about his response and says, “it doesn’t hurt bad enough!”

Even though the dog was moaning in pain, the pain wasn’t “bad enough” for the dog to do something about it. Instead, all he did was moan.

All the dog really needed to do was stand up, move several inches, and find a comfortable spot on the porch to lay down.

People Can Be Like the Dog

This story describes human nature. People are comfortable, even if they are unhappy and are experiencing pain. We all have a comfort zone. Your comfort zone dictates your daily habits, thoughts, actions and success in life.

Additionally, people fear change. People also fear failure. Many people are unhappy with their lot in life, but they will not step out of their comfort zone and change. Why? Because the pain doesn’t hurt bad enough for them to make a change in their life. They believe the pain of changing is greater than the pain of staying the same.

It’s not until people get sick and tired of being sick and tired, and make the decision they will do whatever it takes, that they will change and do what they need to do.

Time is Precious

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”We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit.” – Aristotle

Brian Tracy*, Chairman and CEO of Brian Tracy International, posted recently the following Facebook post regarding time, mindfulness, and focus:

”If there’s one thing that’s certain in life, it’s that time is precious. We only have so much of it to achieve our goals and fulfill our dreams,” says Tracy. That’s why it’s important to be deliberate about how you spend and invest your time, talent and treasure.

Tracy’s quote “Don’t waste time knocking on doors that won’t open for you” speaks to this idea. It reminds you that not every opportunity will be the right fit for you, and that’s okay. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, some doors simply won’t open for you.

Instead of wasting time and energy trying to force these doors open, it’s better to focus your efforts toward doors that are more likely to lead to success. This doesn’t mean you should give up at the first sign of resistance, but rather that you should be mindful of when it’s time to move on.

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life,” stated Apple founder Steve Jobs. “Don’t be trapped by dogma—which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.”

One of the keys to success is to focus on your strengths and pursue opportunities that align with them. When you do this, you are more likely to find doors that are a good fit for you and that will open with greater ease. This can lead to greater fulfillment and success in both your personal and professional lives.

Additionally, success is about taking action. As the famous quote goes, “The act of taking the first step is what separates the winners from the losers.”

Many people have brilliant ideas and big dreams, but few are willing to take the first step toward achieving them, writes Tracy. It’s easy to get bogged down by fear, doubt, or uncertainty. But those who are willing to take action, despite these challenges, are the ones who achieve success.

Focusing on your strengths, pursuing opportunities, and taking the first step can be daunting, but it’s also incredibly liberating. It’s the moment when your idea transforms from a mere thought into a tangible reality. It’s the moment when you gain momentum and start moving toward your goals.

In conclusion, this is a powerful reminder to be mindful of where you invest your time and energy. By focusing on opportunities that align with your values, strengths and passions, you can increase your chances of success and fulfillment. So, it’s important to be smart about where you “knock and keep pushing forward toward the doors that will open” for you, writes Tracy.

“My favorite things in life don’t cost any money. It’s really clear that the most precious resource we all have is time.” ~ Steve Jobs

Source:  https://facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=pfbid02yGDH61Cd1RKimgr4crwkf2RwQPNWyPvAqS96e4cNzxL8EZXBfPF3SPNBHbwSoZ79l&id=100044268887586&mibextid=qC1gEa

*Brian Tracy is Chairman and CEO of Brian Tracy International, a company specializing in the training and development of individuals and organizations. Brian’s goal is to help you achieve your personal and business goals faster and easier than you ever imagined.