“Energy is the essence of life. Daily, you decide how to use it by knowing what you want and what it takes to reach that goal and by maintaining focus.” ~ Oprah Gail Winfrey
Mentally strong people have healthy habits and mindsets. They manage their emotions, thoughts, and behaviors in ways that help them keep their power and set them up for success in life, according to Amy Morin, psychotherapist and author of 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do.
Here are nine ways to keep your power.
1. Don’t waste energy complaining.
There’s a big difference between complaining and problem-solving. Venting to your friends, family, and co-workers keeps you focused on the problem and prevents you from creating a solution. Grumbling not only implies you have no power over your situation but also shows you lack power over your attitude.
2. Accept responsibility for how you feel.
Saying your mother-in-law makes you feel bad about yourself, or claiming your boss makes you mad suggests they have power over your feelings. Don’t let other people’s behavior dictate your emotions. Accept that it’s completely up to you to manage your emotions, regardless of how others behave.
3. Establish healthy boundaries.
Giving in to guilt trips and refusing to speak up for yourself gives power to others. Recognize that you’re in charge of yourself rather than blame others for wasting your time or forcing you to do something. Establish healthy physical and emotional boundaries that give you control over how you spend your time and whom you spend it with.
4. Practice forgiveness.
Holding a grudge against someone who has hurt you doesn’t punish the other person. Instead, it only punishes you. When you waste valuable time thinking about a person you feel wronged you, it takes away your ability to enjoy the moment.
Forgiving someone is the best way to take back your power. But to be clear, forgiveness isn’t about saying what the person did was OK. Instead, it’s about letting go of the hurt and anger that interferes with your ability to enjoy life.
5. Know your values.
When you’re not clear what your values are, you’re at risk of becoming more like a helpless passenger rather than a confident driver in your own life. You’ll be at risk of jumping on board with other people’s ideas, and you may be easily led astray. Take back your power by acknowledging your values and living true to what’s important.
6. Don’t waste time on unproductive thoughts.
Have you ever come home from work and spent the entire evening wishing you didn’t have to go back again tomorrow? Suddenly, you’re giving your eight-hour workday 12 hours of your time. Take control over the thoughts that occupy your mind so you don’t provide more brain power to areas of your life that don’t deserve it.
7. Avoid language that implies you’re a victim.
Saying things like “I have to work 60 hours a week” or “I had no choice but to say yes” infers you’re a victim of unfortunate circumstances. While there will certainly be consequences for your decisions, acknowledge that you always have choices.
8. Make your self-worth independent of other’s opinions.
If your self-worth depends on others holding you in high regard, you’ll likely become a people-pleaser. Not everyone needs to like you, nor must they agree with your lifestyle. You can evaluate the merit of criticism you receive but never allow one person’s opinion to determine your self-worth.
9. Be willing to stand out from the crowd.
Self-doubt and fear can make you want to blend in with those around you. But trying to fit in with the crowd will cause you to disguise yourself as who you are. Trust that you’re mentally strong enough to stand out and dare to be different.
“The greatest discovery of all time is that a person can change his future by merely changing his attitude,” says Oprah Gail Winfrey.
References:
- https://www.inc.com/amy-morin/9-ways-mentally-strong-people-retain-their-personal-power.html
- https://amymorinlcsw.com/about-amy/