Emotional Well-Being and Gratitude During COVID-19

“Your personal experiences make up maybe 0.00000001% of what’s happened in the world but maybe 80% of how you think the world works… We’re all biased to our own personal history.” Morgan Housel, Ideas That Changed My Life

COVID-19 Stressing You Out

According to the CDC, everyone reacts differently to stressful situations such as a pandemic and lock down. As Americans experience the effects of the COVID-19 pandemic such as worry about job loss, concern for your health or that of a loved one, the need to social distance, confining yourself to your home or apartment, changing your routine, spending more screen time than normal, it’s important to practice some degree of emotional self-care.

Finding ways to practice self-care can help reduce your stress and enhance your emotional well-being during the COVID-19 pandemic. Healthy ways to cope with stress include:

  • Taking daily walks
  • Practicing meditation
  • Making time to pray and to express gratitude
  • Knowing where and how to get help
  • Taking breaks from watching, reading, or listening to the sensationalized news stories and coverage about COVID19, protests, and political rancor
  • Reading novels and writing in journals
  • Learning a new skill or hobby
  • Eating healthy foods and getting enough sleep
  • Avoiding or reducing eating processed foods, foods high in refined sugars and carbs, and fried foods
  • Exercising and prioritizing time to unwind by doing activities you enjoy
  • Connecting with others (while social physical distancing measures are in place, consider connecting online, through social media, or by phone or mail)

Gratitude

Gratitude is recognizing the “value for favorable things or positive life experiences for which we did not actively work towards or ask for”, according to Sadhguru. Gratitude is important because it helps us see a world that is much bigger than ourselves. When we have gratitude, we can help ourselves and each other grow personally or professionally.

Psychologists find that, over time, feeling grateful boosts happiness and fosters both physical and psychological health, even among those already struggling with mental health problems. Ways you can foster gratitude by keeping a journal to write about the little joys of daily life or by writing down “three good things” that have gone well for you and identify the cause. Additionally, you can also foster gratitude by writing thank-you notes to others or going out of your way to be kind to others, according to Psychology Today Magazine.

Sources:

  1. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/hope-relationships/202004/overcoming-depression-and-desperation-in-the-time-covid-19
  2. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/gratitude

How to Be a Better Ally to Your Black Colleagues | Harvard Business Review

“The relationship between Black employees and their employing organizations is, at best, a tenuous one.”

by Stephanie Creary, Ph.D
Assistant Professor of Management
The Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania

July 08, 2020

Executive Summary

Research suggests that the relationship between Black employees and their employing organizations is, at best, a tenuous one. Black employees — at all levels — feel that they have not been adequately heard, understood, or granted opportunities to the same extent as their white peers.

The author, Dr. Stephanie Creary, has devised a framework to help people from different backgrounds build stronger relationships in the workplace. Known by the acronym LEAP, the framework encourages company leaders — particularly people managers — to become better allies by:

  • Listening and learning from your Black colleagues’ experience;
  • Engaging with your Black colleagues in racially diverse and casual settings;
  • Asking your Black colleagues about their work and goals; and
  • Providing your Black colleagues with opportunities, suggestions, encouragement, and general support.

Public Positioning (Woke-Washing)

Woke-washing is “a modern-day marketing tactic in which corporations superficially align themselves with progressive causes, often while continuing to perpetuate inequality or unethical practices behind the scenes”.

A few U.S. CEOs and corporations have been positioning themselves publicly as being progressive on social issues such as racism, injustice and inequality. They have been taking a public stand against the racism and injustice while also admitting their own shortcomings in matters of equality.

Yet, for many well known corporations and organizations, there has been a large dichotomy between their companies’ (or organizations’) words and their actions.

Read more: https://hbr.org/2020/07/how-to-be-a-better-ally-to-your-black-colleagues


References:

  1. https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/opinion/ceo-statements-on-race-matter-more-than-you-think/ar-BB14ZzVk

About Professor Stephanie J. Creary: Dr. Creary is an identity and diversity scholar and a field researcher. She is also a founding faculty member of the Wharton IDEAS lab (Identity, Diversity, Engagement, Affect, and Social Relationships), an affiliated faculty member of Wharton People Analytics, a Senior Fellow of the Leonard Davis Institute of Health Economics (LDI), and affiliated faculty member of the Penn Center for Africana Studies. She leads the Leading Diversity@Wharton Speaker Series as part of her Leading Diversity in Organizations course at Wharton. She conducts research on the topics of identity, diversity and inclusion, and relationships across differences.  She also advises and speaks to corporate audiences on the following topics:

  • Building stronger relationships in the workplace among people from different backgrounds
  • Improving leader engagement in diversity, equity, and inclusion work
  • Reducing bias in selection processes (hiring, promotion, team)

Power of Vulnerability

In a speech that Teddy Roosevelt gave in 1910, Roosevelt said:

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.”

The powerful Roosevelt quote resonated with Dr. Brené Brown, a research professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work, who gave the blockbuster TEDTalks “Brené Brown: The Power of Vulnerability”.

In the introduction to her book, Dr. Brown comments on Roosevelt’s words, which she says perfectly encapsulate her research into why she and other researchers find being vulnerable such a hard thing to do.

According to Dr. Brené Brown, Ph.D, in he book, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead:

“When we spend our lives waiting until we’re perfect or bulletproof before we walk into the arena, we ultimately sacrifice relationships and opportunities that may not be recoverable, we squander our precious time, and we turn our backs on our gifts, those unique contributions that only we can make,” says Dr. Brown. “Perfect bulletproof are seductive, but they don’t exist in the human experience.”

Here are a summary of the ThenPower of Vulnerability key points:

  • Vulnerability makes you authentic and allows you to feel love, belonging and joy
  • To be vulnerable you have to:
  • – Internalize that you are a worthy (of being loved) and enough the way you are
  • – Have the courage of showing up and engaging even if could hurt
  • “Your willingness to own and engage your vulnerability determines the depth of your courage”

“Daring greatly means the courage to be vulnerable. It means to show up and be seen. To ask for what you need. To talk about how you’re feeling. To have the hard conversations,” according to Dr. Brown.

Source: 5 insights from Brené Brown’s new book, Daring Greatly


  1. https://thepowermoves.com/daring-greatly-summary/

Mindset: Creating Your Own Opportunities

“You either walk inside your own story and own it or you stand outside your story and hustle for your worthiness.” Dr. Brené Brown, Ph.D

Dr. Brené Brown’s research has shown that you are the only person responsible for your life story and its outcomes. Not your mother; not your spouse; and, definitely not your “bestie” are responsible. You , and you alone, must take responsibility and assume accountability for your thoughts, your habits and your behavior that have resulted in the outcome of your current life.

If you want things to happen in your life for the better and want to improve the trajectory of your life, then you need to do something about it. If you just sit about waiting for opportunities to come to you or waiting for the government to come to the rescue, it is likely that they will never happen.

You, and only you, need to make your own opportunities in life if you want to become a success. Set goals and take action to steer your life in the direction you want it to go, and take advantage every chance and opportunity that comes your way.

Yes, it takes courage and accepting that occasionally you will fail and ‘get your ass kicked’ in the process of creating your own opportunities.

Dr. Brown’s research on the power of vulnerability has shown that without the willingness to rumble with one’s vulnerability, you are unlikely to achieve the success and life you desire without a willingness to accept failing and accept ‘getting your ass kicked’ on occasion. Vulnerability is the emotion you experience during times of risk, uncertainty and emotional exposure.


References:

  1. https://moneyinc.com/brene-brown-quotes/

Dr. Brené Brown, Ph.D, is a professor, researcher and lecturer on the subject of vulnerability, best selling author of ‘Daring Greatly‘, and podcast host. She is based at the University of Houston’s Graduate College of Social Work.

Learn to enjoy every minute of your life

“Learn to enjoy every minute of your life. Be happy now. Don’t wait for something outside of yourself to make you happy in the future. Think how really precious is the time you have to spend, whether it’s at work or with your family. Every minute should be enjoyed and savored.”
– Earl Nightingale

Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon featuring bestselling author Dr. Brené Brown.

The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon featured Professor and New York Times bestselling author Brené Brown.  Dr. Brown shared strategies for handling sudden “effing first times” during the coronavirus pandemic.

Dr. Brené Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston where she holds the Huffington Foundation – Brené Brown Endowed Chair. She has spent the past two decades studying courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy. She is the author of five #1 New York Times bestsellers: The Gifts of ImperfectionDaring GreatlyRising StrongBraving the Wilderness, and Dare to Lead.

She believes that you have to walk through vulnerability to get to courage, therefore . . . embrace the suck. She tries to be grateful every day and her current motto is “Courage over comfort.”

The Vestiges of Spending and Debt

“Debt means enslavement to the past, no matter how much you want to plan well for the future and live according to your own standards today. Unless you’re free from the bondage of paying for your past, you can’t responsibly live in the present and plan for the future.” Tsh Oxenreider, Organized Simplicity: The Clutter-Free Approach to Intentional Living

Debt is often described as a four-letter word, burying borrowers with substantial balances and double-digit interest fees. And for many Americans, that’s the case.

Living with and accumulating debt has always been an almost certain path to financial ruin and can be a recipe for disaster. Debt can be sneaky. It is difficult to get ahead financially when you don’t have enough money to pay for something and reaching for a credit card to fund. It is no way to live in the short or long term.

Debt eats away at disposable income and limits the borrower’s ability to meet other financial goals, such as saving and investing for retirement. It also forces those who carry a monthly credit card balance to overpay for consumer goods — including furniture, clothes, and flat-screen TVs — due to the interest charges that accrue.

But debt isn’t just credit cards. It comes packaged as student loans, car payments, store credit cards, home mortgages, personal loans, business loans, payday loans, and even “buy now, pay later” deals. Essentially, anytime you owe somebody else money for anything—it’s debt.

It’s important to give debt the boot for good. First, stop taking on any kind of new debt. That means stop paying for goods and services with a credit card to make ends meet, stop leveraging your future to pay present. Stop living beyond your means.

You can’t get out of debt if you keep adding additional purchases and expenses to it. Instead, start focusing on paying off your debts with the smallest to largest balances.

Stop living with debt.

Anytime you owe somebody else money for anything—it’s debt.

Paying off debt continues to be one of the most pressing financial goal for Americans. A 2018 Transamerica Center for Retirement Studies found that nearly a third (31%) of survey participants stated that eliminating bad debt was their number one financial goal.

Paying off bad debt, and debt in general, is extremely important for consumers. It can be difficult to save for retirement and other long-term goals when a big chunk of your money is going toward debt repayment. That’s why it’s important to have a financial plan that details how to get out of debt—it can save you money in interest and ultimately help you save more money and reach your goals faster.

Student loans, credit card balances, car loans, and mortgages all represent types of debt that typical consumers must pay off. It’s important to make sure to pay at least the minimum required—and on time—to keep all loans in good status. After all, defaulting on credit cards, car loans, student debt, or home mortgages can destroy your credit rating, and risk bankruptcy.

Debts are negative bonds

A fixed rate mortgage acts like a bond with fixed payments. But, the exception is that you are the one issuing the bond instead of buying it, which makes it a negative holding. Debts are like negative bonds, you’re making interest payments in addition to principal.

A bond is an investment in which you expect to get back your initial investment (principal) plus some interest. Conversely, a mortgage is a promise to pay back the borrowed amount (principal) plus some interest. Thus, it appears to be that a mortgage and all consumer loans are basically just a negative bond.

Viewing mortgages, automobile loans or student loans as a negative bond, where you are paying interest to the loan holder instead of collecting it, might change a person’s mindset regarding debt. Indeed, paying off debt almost always garners a higher after-tax return than you can earn by investing in high-quality bonds.

Before you tackle debt, pay yourself first.

Use tax-advantaged accounts like a flexible spending account or a health savings account if you have a high deductible health plan. That lets you pay for medical bills using pre-tax money.

Save enough in a workplace retirement savings plan to get the match from your employer—that’s “free money.” Set aside some cash for emergencies.

Assuming you are meeting those primary obligations, here’s a guide to help you pay off debt while saving for emergencies and long-term goals like retirement. It may seem counterintuitive, but before you tackle debt, make sure you have some “just in case” money and save for retirement.

It can be easy to run up a large credit card balance. And once you do, it’s not easy to pay it off. The minimum payments are typically low, which means you are paying mostly interest, so it will take much longer to pay off the balance. And it will cost you more. So if you can, consider paying more than the minimum each month.

Debt and Credit Reporting

Once a delinquency has been reported to a collection agency, paying it off won’t help your FICO score. The damage has already been done, and the blemish will remain on your credit report for seven years.

At this point, it is recommended that you negotiate with the debt collector so you can repay a smaller amount and keep more of your savings. Creditors will often accept far less than what is actually due. One important caveat: When you negotiate a lower payment, the IRS usually counts the forgiven amount (what you’re not required to pay) as income, which means that you’ll owe taxes on that money.

Take pleasure in saving.

Personal Financial guru Suze Orman states that the most important piece of advice she can provide regarding debt is that, “Until you can feel more pleasure from saving than you get from spending, you are going to be tempted to spend money you don’t have.” Essentially, until an individual makes saving a priority and core objective, they will be fighting a uphill battle to curb spending and to ensure the spending remains below the earnings.

It worth repeating the fact that Americans have a spending problem. Every research and survey conducted on the subject of debt reveals that conspicuous spending, or in the vernacular of a former Federal Reserve Chairman, conspicuous consumption has long been a concern of economists in American. Many of the bursting economic bubbles over the past dozen decades can be directly contributed to Americans getting over their proverbial skies with respect to debt and spending more than they earn.

Debt for appreciating and income producing assets

If used properly, debt can potentially provide the leverage to accumulate income and producing assets wealth. Very few people could afford to purchase a primary residence without a mortgage loan.

Not all property appreciates in value, of course, but for most Americans, their primary residence is their single largest asset. As of 2018, U.S. homeowners are sitting on a record $15.2 trillion of “tappable equity,” defined as the total amount of equity a homeowner with a mortgage can borrow against their home, according to Magnify Money by Lending Tree.


  1. https://www.fidelity.com/mymoney/ditch-debt-and-start-saving?ccsource=Facebook_YI&sf228845371=1
  2. https://www.transamericacenter.org/retirement-research/19th-annual-retirement-survey
  3. https://www.suzeorman.com/blog/Americans-Say-Paying-Off-Debt-is-Their-Top-Goal

3 tips to avoid locking in losses | Mass Mutual

By Allen Wastler
Allen Wastler is a former financial journalist with over 30-years of experience, including time at CNBC, CNN, and Knight-Ridder Newspapers.
Posted on Apr 13, 2020

After a huge market downturn and a major loss of value in your investment portfolio, the temptation to do something — anything — may be hard to resist.

But in many ways, the best action may be to take no action. Why? An investment plan is a long-term project and making changes to it based on short-term considerations is often ill-advised. That’s why financial professionals encourage people to stay calm during market sell-offs and think about long-term objectives.

“It is a tough and scary time, and not locking in losses by panic selling is critical,” said J. Todd Gentry, a financial professional with Synergy Wealth Solutions in Chesterfield, Missouri.

But even if you did resist the initial impulse to flee during a market retreat, you still need to keep some discipline about your portfolio as you wait for a market recovery. Here are some traps to avoid….Read more: Avoid Locking in Losses

Markets, as a whole, have historically bounced back from downturns with time, as the following chart illustrates.

Source: Bloomberg. The S&P 500 is an equity index that consists of the stocks of 500 large U.S. companies measured by market capitalization. The results here include the effect of reinvested dividends. You cannot invest directly in an index.

Getting Better at Something

To Get Better at Something, Ask Yourself These Two Questions

Anyone can get better and improve at anything, including personal finance, with the right mindset and deliberate action. That includes getting better at saving by paying yourself first, investing for the long-term and accumulating wealth.

But in order to get better, individuals need to honestly answer “yes” to two very basic questions. Those two questions are:

  1. Do you want to do or get better?
  2. Are you willing to feel the discomfort of putting in more effort and trying new things that will feel weird and different and won’t work right away? To fail?

If the answer is “no” to either question, then it would be foolish for an individual to believe they can improve and get better by doing things the way they’ve always done it or thinking the same way they’ve always thought. Additionally, it would prove a waste of time and effort for any coach to undertake a client or player to improve their skills who do not answer yes to both questions.

Essentially, getting better, especially at saving and investing, is about wanting to get better by embracing a positive mindset and is about having a willingness to experience discomfort. It is important to know that you can become better at anything if your willing to do what is necessary.

But you will not get better if 1) you don’t believe you can and 2) you aren’t willing to accept the discomfort of doing things differently and do whatever it takes to get better.

Learning anything new means moments of feeling uncomfortable. You will need to act in ways that are unfamiliar and take risks that are new. Try things that, in many cases, will be initially frustrating because they won’t work the first time.

You are guaranteed to feel awkward and possibly experience failure for the first time. You will make mistakes. You may be embarrassed or even feel shame, especially if you are accustomed to succeeding.

The key take-away is that answering these two questions yes are a prerequisite to growth and achieving financial success.


  1. https://hbrascend.org/topics/if-you-want-to-get-better-at-something-ask-yourself-these-two-questions/

Financial Life Planning

“People have the potential to live longer than any other time in history. This gift of extra time requires that we fundamentally redefine retirement and our life journeys leading up to it.” What is “Retirement’?  Transamerica Center for Retirement Studies

Financial Life Planning connects the dots between our financial realities, our values and the lives we long to live. It helps both pre-retirees and retirees identify their core values and connect them with their financial decisions and life goals. It is an financial planning and investing approach which helps people manage their portfolio.

Financial life plan focuses on the human side of financial planning, including people’s anxiety, habits, behaviors and other emotions (e.g., fear and greed) tied to investing money and accumulating wealth. People struggling with retirement and other finances really need a plan that helps them manage their attitudes, habits, goals and resources.

George Kinder, known to most as the “father” of the life planning, is the founder of Kinder Institute. He views life planning as “a way of holistically delivering financial planning that focuses on delving into people’s real goals, beyond just their financial concerns, in an effort to help them use their money to deliver freedom into their lives”.

Financial Life Planning combines personal finance and wellness. It spends time to discussing life planning and to building an intentional life. There is more to living a life of freedom and purpose than money and wealth. To live a life of freedom and purpose, people are encouraged to consider George Kinder’s famous Three Questions, which are:

Question 1: Design Your Life

“I want you to imagine that you are financially secure, that you have enough money to take care of your needs, now and in the future. The question is, how would you live your life? What would you do with the money? Would you change anything? Let yourself go. Don’t hold back your dreams. Describe a life that is complete, that is richly yours.”

Question 2: You have less time

“This time, you visit your doctor who tells you that you have five to ten years left to live. The good part is that you won’t ever feel sick. The bad news is that you will have no notice of the moment of your death. What will you do in the time you have remaining to live? Will you change your life, and how will you do it?”

Question 3: Today’s the day

“This time, your doctor shocks you with the news that you have only one day left to live. Notice what feelings arise as you confront your very real mortality. Ask yourself: What dreams will be left unfulfilled? What do I wish I had finished or had been? What do I wish I had done? ”

Society tends to attribute personal and professional success to the acquisition of material things and the accumulation of wealth. Most of us find ourselves inextricably caught in a cycle of earning, spending, and investing often induced by societal and peer pressures to fit into a perceived definition of success.

And in spite of this, how many times have we heard from even well-to-do friends, acquaintances and relatives that they are not exactly happy with how their lives have shaped up, how they don’t enjoy what they are doing, how they are drowning in debt or living paycheck to paycheck, or how they don’t have any time to pursue their dreams and interests?

If you look closely, there is a common undercurrent running across all these statements that we find ourselves ‘enslaved’ to a script or lifestyle broadcast by social media which was not exactly aligned to our values and innermost dreams.

No one ever wanted to spend more time in the office

“No one ever said on their deathbed ‘I wish I’d spent more time at the office.’ ” Harold Kushner

Having read many anecdotal reports regarding end of life issues, it is important what truly matters to most people in the end. Typically, people do not say that they wish they had earned more money, spent more time at work, or had one more side hustle.

Most often instead, they wish they had spent more time with family and friends. They had more experiences with those that they love. They had taken better care of their health and bodies over the decades. They had saved more and planned better for their retirement. And finally, they wanted to make sure that those they left behind would be taken care of once they were gone.


References:

  1. https://www.kiplinger.com/article/retirement/T023-C000-S004-retirees-build-a-financial-plan-based-on-you.html
  2. https://www.kinderinstitute.com
  3. https://www.kitces.com/blog/george-kinder-institute-life-planning-podcast-seven-stages-maturity/
  4. Podcast: #FASuccess Ep 015: Why Life Planning Is Simply Financial Planning Done Right With George Kinder