Setting goals, writing down your goals and daily reading them aloud isn’t always enough to successfully accomplish the goals.
If you don’t believe you’re the kind of person who can achieve the goals you have, then no amount of writing them down or reading them aloud is going to inspire you to take action.
If you want to learn how to commit to your goals in the long-term, you have to develop an identity that drives the behaviors and develop the habits you need to achieve them.
This is what the long-term commitment individuals do. They believed they would play their musical instrument or play football for the rest of their lives (regardless of whether that was true or not).
They didn’t perceive themselves as individuals playing musical instruments or playing football as an extra-curricular activity – they perceived themselves as musicians or football players.
How to Create a New Identity
Your identity is who you are. This is not to be left to other people’s judgments, it’s to be left to your own. You’re not defined by your appearance, your job description or your past. In any moment, you can redefine who you are.
This is done by:
- Defining who you want to be (“I’m a musician” or “I’m a football player”).
- Taking action and creating reference points that justify your new belief. (“I am a musician because I practice every day”).
When you think of taking action, the smaller the better. Why? Because small actions don’t intimidate you to start and therefore are easier to do – consistently. When you consistently take action, you create more momentum and it’s easier to move towards your goals.
It’s common to define who you are by saying: “I am”.
If you look at any “I am” preface you use to describe who you are, it will often connote a lot about what you do as well. A good rule of thumb to use is:
- Associate “I am” prefaces to positive behaviors you want and
- Disassociate “I am” prefaces from negative behaviors you don’t want.
For example, if your goal is to run a marathon: “I am a runner, therefore I run” is better than: “I am training to run a marathon, therefore I have to run” (notice how “have to” makes it sounds like a chore?).
When a behavior is linked to your identity, it drives your behavior.
Conversely, if your goal is to learn how to break a bad habit and replace it with a better one, it’s better to dis-identify with a negative behaviour.
For example, “the last diet I tried failed” is better than “the last diet I tried failed, therefore I am a failure”.
When you redefine who you are with a new, empowering “I am” preface, you feel the need to take action: failure to do so would mean you’re a liar (and no one wants to be a liar). When you decide: “I am a musician” or “I am an author” you have no choice but to make music or write books.
Here’s are a few more examples:
If your goal is to write a book, you’re a writer, therefore you write.
If your goal is to lose 14 pounds, you’re a healthy eater, therefore you eat healthy (doesn’t this have a better connotation than “dieter” or “weight-watcher”?)
References:
- Sam Thomas Davies, A Tiny, Powerful Idea: How ‘Identity-Based’ Habits Shape Behavior, Sam Thomas Davies, May 29, 2023.
- Coyle, D. The Talent Code: Greatness Isn’t Born: It’s Grown. New York: Bantam, 2009.